Ooops.....
As most of these tales start with the consumption of falling down juice, I would like to offer a small incidents that happened to me whilst a bit shitfaced.

I had been out with a few friends to the local meat market (you know the place that's in every big city that's populated by Pissed hen parties and even more pissed ozzies) and had on this occasion managed to cop hold of a above average girlie.... Yay Me!

So, after a few (lot) more beers she asks if I would like to retire to her's for a bit more privacy....result.

So we pitch up at her's in a very nice part of London and within seconds of getting through the door were at it like people possessed. And im please to say that due to the amount of beer consumed through the night I was a stallion!

Anyways some while after we are laying in bed and suddenly I get the dreaded stomach cramps, im needing the toilet and quick, so without waking her I stumble about the flat until I find the toilet, then crash about looking for the light switch, I finally find it and only just in time as I erupted on the can (think dumb and dumber). Then to my horror I find that there is no toilet paper, so I look round the bathroom and locate some moisturizing towlettes and use them.....then without looking flush the toilet. It is at that moment that I realised that the there had infact been toilet paper and in my fumbling to find the light switch had knocked it into the toilet. I Could only now watch in horror as the shitty water rose in the toilet and started to flood out on the floor! So I did what every self respecting gentleman would do.....crept back into the bedroom and got dressed scarpered while she was still asleep.

I often wonder what happened when she woke up, and sometimes I fear that I will bump to her and ill get a well deserved glass in my face.

And yes I do feel guilty about it, but on the up side I found the benefits of moisturizing your bum!

"No length or girth jokes were using during the telling of this story!" - well until now.
( caffeinefreak, Tue 4 Sep 2007, 10:46, Reply)