I fought the law and the law sent me a threatening letter
During the summer of 1995 before I went to university I received my one and only parking ticket. I was quite shocked at the £40 fine, but the small print stated that if I paid within a week it was reduced to £9, so being a good little bitch of the system I paid up & put it behind me.

A few months later I was queuing with friends in my halls of residence dining hall, the queue filtered past the pigeon holes where you received mail & I saw that I had received an official looking brown envelope. I opened the letter & my heart sank, it was a court summons for non-payment of the parking fine. Without finishing the letter I sprinted out of the dining hall, past the line of people queuing for their lunch & headed for one of the payphones. With shaking hands I phoned my dad at work:

Me: “Dad, I’ve been sent a court summons for not paying that parking ticket”
Dad: “But you paid it”
Me: “It must have got lost in the post”
Dad: “What does the letter say?”
Me: “It states the date of the fine, my registration number, the date of my court hearing, oh god dad it’s in 2 days time…it says if I don’t attend they’ll send da boyz to get me….”
Dad: “It says what?”
Me: “They’ll send da boyz to get me”

At this point I realised the letter is signed “A. Cunt” in the unmistakeable handwriting of my friend Neil. My friend Neil who was with me when I received the parking ticket, my friend Neil who knew my halls of residence address, my friend Neil who is a complete bastard and still mocks me to this day about the time I fell hook, line & sinker for a badly typed letter.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 10:46, Reply)