the crimson chin
as a child, i was more than a little gullible. as a result of this, i developed a sense of deep cynicism in my mid-teens. sometimes, this was not to my benefit...

one night, i was sitting in my parent's kitchen with my friends alison, joanne and sharon. we were having a good time, laughing and having more than a couple of drinks.
after a while, we started to play silly drinking games. one of these games was "stick the glass to your chin." this game is played by taking your empty glass, placing it over your chin and bottom lip and sucking all of the air out of it, until it sticks to your chin. this struck us as an hilarious activity but, as i said, we were drunk.
alison decided it would be funny to see how easily glasses could be pulled off each other's chins. not wanting to "lose" the game, i sucked as hard as i could, creating a forceful vacuum inside the glass and practically welding it to my chin.
when alison tried to pull the glass off my chin, it took several attempts.
finally, with a "pop!" glass and chin parted company.
the looks of horrified fascination on the girls' faces lasted about 3 seconds before being replaced with gales of laughter. "what's so funny?" i asked.
"your chin has turned purple!" howled joanne, tears of laughter now streaming down her face.
"no it bloody hasn't!" i replied. all three of them assured me that it had but, due no my new-found skepticism, i didn't believe them one bit.
"well," i said, "if my chin is purple, doing it again won't make any difference, will it?" and with this, i proceeded to vacuum-seal my chin inside the glass again.
by this point, my friends were practically wetting themselves with laughter. finally, the seeds of doubt began to grow. i pulled the glass off my chin.
"you are joking, aren't you?" i asked, with more than a hint of hope in my voice. shaken heads and more laughter had me racing to the large mirror in the hallway.

my chin wasn't purple.

it was fucking black.

i had sucked all the blood in my chin to the surface, causing an almighty black bruise that didn't fade for a little over 2 months.
2 months of looking a complete and total tit. not even pancake make-up would cover it.

they've never let me live it down.

length? 2 months, just over.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 21:16, 6 replies)

I did this.
With a Hopper Popper. On my forehead. I had a perfectly round deep purple bruise in the middle of my head for a good ten days. School was a nightmare!
Thanks for bringing that memory back to me :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 23 Aug 2008, 0:20, closed)

ROFL
This is good :D
( MadAdamUk was last alive on, Sat 23 Aug 2008, 7:30, closed)

@no31
did you try covering it with make-up as well?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 23 Aug 2008, 11:42, closed)

Nah. I'm a bloke y'see
Dunno about all that make-up stuff. I did try covering it with my fringe but it was nowhere near long enough. So I just put up with being laughed at =o/
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 23 Aug 2008, 17:17, closed)

heheh
did you try to blag everyone that you'd been in a huge fight, but the other fella got one hit in before you floored him? i would have!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Aug 2008, 19:22, closed)

;)
If I coulda found someone at school with perfectly circular knuckles I'd have given it a go :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 10:28, closed)