Dogshit Smearing
My friend James used to be particularly nasty to his younger brother Keith, in the way that 13-year old and 10-year old boys are.

One day, whilst bored down the road from their house, James spies a particularly healthy, and fresh, dog turd glistening on the pavement.

"Keith, I bet you £5 you won't pick up that dog turd".

"Alright" ... and down he goes to gingerly pick up the offending object.

"No Keith, that's not worth a fiver, you've really got to mash it between your fingers and stuff".

Keith is somewhat dismayed by this new proviso on receiving the cash, but thinking of the crisp bluey he's about to get, decides it's a paltry price to pay and duly goes about making a shitcake between his hands.

"Can I have the five pounds now James?"

"Tell you what Keith, I'll make it £10 if you rub your hands on your face."

In for a penny, in for a pound (or ten) thinks young Keith and goes for it.

"Can I have the ten pounds now James?"

James, by now utterly wetting himself laughing, says "Fuck off Keith, don't be daft, I don't have ten quid", cackling as Keith turns and dejectedly bumbles home, catastrophically caked in slowly hardening tarry dog cack.

However, James is close enough behind Keith as they walk home to see his mother suddenly shoot out of the house like a greyhound, red in the face screaming "KEITH WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING!?"

"Well Mum, James bet me £5..." etc., resulting in James not being able to sit down for a day or two, so I suppose the last laugh was on him, really.
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 23:53, Reply)