The Farm
I was but a beardless youth, on the top deck of the school bus when I overheard the following conversation:

Boy #1: "Dint your dog bite someone?"

Boy #2: "Yeah. Me dad had to send it to live on a farm where they can look after him and he won't get into trouble again..."

Despite my status as a complete greenhorn, a non-cynical hope-for-the-best optimist, I was astounded at the audacity of the lies this bufoon swallowed!

Did he really believe that somewhere, somehow, someplace (Ed: starting to sound like a musical number there, stoppit!), there was a dogs' shangri-la where vicious and uncontrollable mutts could live out their lives in happiness and contentment? Probably chasing rabbits in the daytime and dozing by the fire, next to the feet of the kindly old farmer's wife at night. Doubtless, the occasional bone to chew as well.

I desperately wanted to tell boy #2 the truth. His old man had popped down the vets, handed over six quid and old Rover had been injected, stuffed in a plastic bag and then lobbed in a dumpster marked "Caution - Biohazard", all inside ten minutes.

I didn't tell him. He was one of the tougher kids at school and his reaction might not have been one of grateful enlightenment.

I thought no more of this until about ten years later, when the bloke who was to become my uncle was reminiscing about the pup he'd had as a boy. It too got sent to live on a farm. He was 31 when he told me this.

Knowing I was on safer ground, as my doting aunty would have withdrawn all fanny priviledges indefinitely if he'd reacted badly, i pointed out the logical flaws in this tale.

The look on his face was priceless. It went from cheerful, to betrayed disbelief in a single smooth motion, like a sloppy blancmange slowly sliding off an injudiciously tilted plate.
(apologies_for_length, Sat 23 Aug 2008, 14:35, 1 reply)

Pudding face
It's a great story and well worth a click. But you'd have gotten a click anyway just for "sloppy blancmange slowly sliding off an injudiciously tilted plate."
(calamarain just invented dehydrated water, Sat 23 Aug 2008, 20:54, closed)