carry on screaming
my auntie has a truly evil sense of humour, which can often be quite funny. i shall give you 2 examples of this.

1.
the day she got new false teeth, she hid behind my mum's bedroom door. my mum sent my brother upstairs to get her comb from the dressing table.
my aunt leapt out at him, false teeth hanging out, screaming like a banshee.
my brother may have been 13, but that didn't stop him pissing his pants.

2.
when i was about 15, i was about to go for a wander with my best friend joanne and christine, the ugly goon who clung to us like shit to a blanket.
as we passed my aunt's house, she called us inside.
once we were in the kitchen, she asked us where we were going. we told her we were just going for a walk but, before we could leave, she had a warning for us. she showed us a newspaper article featuring a man in a blue boiler suit, his face hidden by an old man-type mask, complete with wild white hair. the headline said that this person had attacked somebody with a knife and was still on the loose.
of course, as teenagers, we believed that we were invincible.

that feeling lasted another ten seconds.

with no warning, the back door crashed open, revealing a blue boiler-suited man wearing an old man mask. it was him! he was going to kill us with the HUGE knife in his hand!

screaming, we ran full pelt out of the house. i turned around, hoping to see my aunt behind me.
instead, what i saw was my aunt and our would-be attacker, bent double in the kitchen, hardly able to breathe from laughter. the intruder pulled his mask off, revealing himself to be my cousin. if his knife hadn't been fake(and i hadn't almost had a terror-induced heart attack), i would have killed the fuckers myself.

the funniest part was that, although my friend joanne stopped outside the gate as she realised it was a joke, christine the goon ran screaming all the way home.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Aug 2008, 21:21, Reply)