I suppose I should post..
A little bit about me first..

I'm 26, the oldest of 3 boys, and am still living at home...

I always thought that my mum was deeply overprotective of the 3 of us, but now I sit back and look at it, I can see that she was the exact opposite..

I never really did well at school, was always one of the top 2-3 in the class in everything except English (which can probably be seen in the rambling way in which I'm writing this), and as far as I can remember none of us ever wanted for anything.

It may be some initial paranoia on my part that I was overlooked for my little brother, who ever since he had open heart surgery at the age of 2 some 20 years ago, and again 10 years ago, has been slightly less developed than myself or my middle brother, and this can be obviously seen at times in his maturity.

Despite the setback of my little brother, my mum always took it upon herself to make sure that we were always well turned out for school, even if there was little money to allow her and my dad to do so, and taught us the whys and wherefores of mannerisms and general behaviour.

I suppose that I always thought that I was being mollycoddled by my parents, who didn't really want me to go out, unless I could tell them where I'd be and everything. In hindsight however, they'd got enough on their plate making sure my 2 younger brothers were alright, and making sure that my youngest brother was over whatever small illness was affecting him at the time.

I look at my middle brother now, theres only 2 years between myself and him, but, he's married, got a lovely wife, and 2 cracking kids, and I can see a lot of both of my parents parenting skills in him. He seems to have learnt a lot from them, but he says to me that a lot of it is just common sense, the rest he just looked at how mum and dad did everything.

A lot of people say that you're either shielded from everything as a youngster, or you're not, but, from my point of view, your parents affect your life a lot more than you actually realise. They may be hands off, but by doing that, they may let you learn by your mistakes. They may be hands on, when they feel that you don't have the experience of the situation, or hands on because they don't you to make the same mistakes they have.

I look at the way both my parents are now with the grandkids, and I don't think anything they're doing when they look after them has changed from when they were bringing the 3 of us up, and now I look at it, nearly 20 years later, its a lot easier to see than it was through the eyes of a youngster.

Thanks mum, thanks dad, I've learnt a lot from you, I hope I can bring up any children I have as well as you brought the 3 of us up.
(Code of Post lives at the moment in time that is..., Sun 13 Sep 2009, 8:58, Reply)