Susan
Susan is one of those annoying, hypocritical neo-hippies who wake up one day and decide to be a vegan and lecture everyone around on the evils of meat munching (she also shaves her head these days whilst ironically abstaining from shaving her pits, legs and muff). I say hypocritical because she campaigns for every cause you can imagine, including an elephant that was part of a travelling circus (this one received particularly funny news coverage featuring the elephant's trainer saying that he is as happy as could be expected, his conditions are beyond humane, he loves the attention from the crowds and, best of all, he has been in captivity for so long that he'd hate it in the wild, deflating all the protesters' arguments), yet she locked the three kittens she had outside because she couldn't afford to feed them (what?).

ANYWAY, her son, Israel (poor fucker), is often dragged along to these protests and has adopted her vege-eating ways, which would be fine if he didn't sound so brainwashed about the whole thing. I'll never forget how appalled I was when he, after being offered a Shapes cracker (they're little crackers covered in flavouring in case you don't have them) at a party, asked whether or not they had any artificial flavours or additives because "Mummy doesn't like me eating those". The kid's 7, for fuck's sake, he shouldn't know anything about flavours and additives. There have been many examples like this but that's the one that really sticks out in my mind.

She also alternates between doting on him and calling him the most special boy ever to being completely oblivious to and uninterested in his demands, which must be confusing. That kid is going to grow up with some major issues.

The worst thing is that I used to sleep with her =/
(ElGranto, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 0:54, 2 replies)

Bloody hippies.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 10:43, closed)

Woo!
Malcolm and Cressida ftw!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 11:02, closed)