Things I've done that will ensure hell for me.
One day at School, circa 1987, the Gideons bible people came to give a presentation on their work. Every student was given a free bible, onion-skin paper encased in a latex faux-leather cover. For the rest of the day the school was full of proto-chavs, myself included, smacking each other on the back of the head and claiming to be bible-bashers.

I kept that bible, and many years later used one of the pages to skin up with when we'd run out of Rizlas. It seemed funny at the time, but it (or the cheap lager) made me very sick indeed.

So was this whitey my punishment for my drug abuse and wanton biblical hooliganism? Or do I have an eternity ahead, up to my neck in boiling shit, treading on burning coals, with only the Jeremy Kyle Show and Strictly Come Dancing for entertainment (probably on flat screen TVs hanging from the roof since the Devil has the best technology as well as the best tunes)?
(drunkenfud, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:38, 4 replies)

Well if you do
you won't be the only one...

I'd forgotten about that. I've smoked bible too :(
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:45, closed)

Bibles're popular in prisons for that very reason - free fag papers.
You don't think they READ them in there, do you?
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:48, closed)

Similarly
My mate used his to zero the sights on his air rifle. Then he took it back into school to show off what a great shot he was.
The RE teacher plucked it from him in the playground and he got absolutely fucked for it.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:53, closed)

RE teachers...
I'm sure he did. RE teachers are the worst. You know what they say - "Anal sex is like spinich, if it's forced on you as a child you'll hate it for the rest of your life"
(drunkenfud, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:56, closed)