I am actually ashamed of this one.
But not too ashamed to share, sadly.

Like many here, I am an avowed atheist. I live near a church, and every Sunday the bells ring.

And ring.

And ring.

And ring.

It winds me the hell up, but I’ve always tolerated it.

Until just before last Christmas.

A card came through my door, saying something like ‘As we near the birthday of our saviour, we invite you to come and join our celebrations’.

I binned it.

A couple of days later another one came through.

I binned it.

The following Saturday yet another one arrived. Junk mail pisses me off at the best of times, but this was really getting to me. Why did they think it was OK to keep posting the same shit through my letter box?

Unfortunately I went out with friends and got steaming drunk that afternoon.

I staggered through my door at about 10.30 at night and saw the card still lying on my doormat.

So I picked it up, found a black felt pen and scrawled across it something like

‘Will you stop putting this fucking deluded fucking fiction through my fucking letter box. You’re god does not fucking exist and no amount of wasted cardboard will get me through your fucking doors. PS. One day I am going to come round your house and play loud music by your window at 3 in the morning, because that will have the same effect on you as your fucking church bells will have on me tomorrow morning’.

(there may have been more expletives that that actually)

And then I went and posted it through the church cottage letterbox.

And went to bed.

How fucking bad do you reckon I felt when at about 9.30 the next morning I got woken up by the church bells and remembered what I had done?

I don’t even know if the church cottage had anything to do with the card.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:46, 5 replies)

If you don't like church bells
it may be a good idea not to buy a house near a church.

Just a suggestion, like.

(may not be valid for anyone born before the 14th century or whenever your local church was put up)
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:59, closed)

I concur!
It's a bit like people who buy a home near a busy airport and complain a year later because of the airplane noise.

Unless it's a brand spanking new Church, I would imagine it's presence pre-dated your moving nearby.

Just a thought. I mean, I respect your right to be an agnostic/atheist or whatever, but seriously...just move.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:39, closed)

I know
Its not that simple I'm afraid.

But yeah, I know.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 10:25, closed)

Orrrrrrrrr
You know, there IS always the possibility that a small fire might solve the problem. :)

JUST KIDDING!

THough I MAY know a guy or two that can be hired for such things! LOL
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 16:54, closed)

hahah nice!
Nothing wrong with texting 5 live either, especially if its abusing Richard Bacon
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:42, closed)