Apart from regularly farting in children's faces on buses
I do have some great DIY garden incidents that should help me along the way.

I once lived in a house next door to an old folks home.

The front garden at said house would flood on a regular basis, so genius that I am I decided that a channel cut under the driveway that ran at the side of the garden would allow the water to safely drain away.

So I got a few cowboy builder mates and a few crates of Heldenbrau round and we set to work.

What we did not realise was that we had put too steep an angle on our little drainage channel and drilled clean through a water main.

Fortunately, the raging torrent we unleashed ran, as water does, downhill. My house was saved from the roaring cataracts.

However, the old folks home next door looked like a third world disaster area, complete with glum looking refugees shuffling along as all they owned was swept away into the distance.

Some years later at a different house, I attempted to dig out a driveway from what was previously a small hill at the side of the property. I set to work with a team of cowboy builder mates and several crates of Carlsberg Export.

What we did not realise was that we had miscalculated the angle on our little driveway and mini-JCB'd clean through an electric cable.

Fortunately, the power cut we unleashed ran, as electricity does, away from the source. My house was saved from the blackout.

However, the young child on the kidney dialysis machine next door wasn't. Oh how we chuckled as the ambulance raced off into the summer sunshine.

At least nobody got killed eh?
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 20:22, 2 replies)

you're not funny.
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(Discreditor wants the dream to come true, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 0:00, closed)

2nd'd
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(Mr.Dog was in love again on, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 13:34, closed)