The 10 commandments and 7 deadly sins
1. You shall have no other gods before me
erm...I don't believe in God
2. You shall not make for yourself an idol
When I was 14 and on a school trip to Rome we made a shrine to Spam
3. You shall not take the Lord's name in vain
Oh god, not this one again...guilty.
4. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
I can't remember the last time I didn't do some form of work/play on a Sunday
5. Honour your father and mother
Had sex in their bed aged 18
6. You shall not murder
You should have heard my awful rendition of Lean On Me. Seriously though, to my knowledge I've never murdered anyone.
7. You shall not commit adultery
Another rare one I haven't broken! Wey hey!
8. You shall not steal
I'd like to meet someone who has genuinely never stolen anything.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour
I can bullshit for Britain, won an olympic medal for it in Sydney 2000
10. You shall not covet your neighbour's ass(ets)
This is pretty much saying that you are *not* allowed to see your mates car/PS3/girlfriend and think "wow I want that". Nonesense.

ok so I've broken 8/10 of the commandments, missing adultery and murder. Let's try the 7 deadly sins

1. Lust
Have had sex and I'm not married. Have seen girls and wanted to have/actually have had sex with them
2. Gluttony
Most people have had that moment in a restaurant where they're full but they keep eating.
3. Greed
The over-wishful thinking of wanting to acquire and hold onto wealth. Ever said 'no' to a big issue seller for no good reason? Ever been stingy with a colleague's birthday present? Ever wanted a raise at work even though you don't really need the money? Gotcha.
4. Sloth
It's 10.30am and I'm sat at home in my underpants eating Coco Pops and watching daytime TV.
5. Wrath
Apparently you can tick this box by taking out your anger on someone or something that didn't deserve it. Never done that? Liar. Punching a wall, "being in a stressy mood", arguing for no good reason. Yep.
6. Envy
Similar to greed, this one works along the lines of wanting somebody to be deprived of something and for you to 'take their place'. This includes the smug cnut who got a promotion ahead of you for being a kiss arse. This includes wanting someone else's boyfriend. This includes seeing someone else's food in the restaurant and wanting to swap plates with them.
7. Pride
The true meaning of pride is a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to give compliments to others though they may be deserving of them, and excessive love of self. Whereas at one time or another we've probably done the first two things mentioned, the second two would really require someone of epic cuntiness. So half marks here.

So I've done 6.5/7 deadly sins too, kinda missing out on pride.

Apparently I'm going to burn quite deliciously, and so are all of you.
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 10:51, 3 replies)

Excessive love of self?
I think we all get plenty of that...

Having been present for your rendition of "Lean on Me," I expect that you will suffer in hell as much as my ears did listening to it. You may be redeemed, however, for your deeply erotic performance of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" with Nettlesteed.

And why is daytime TV not one of the Deadly Sins?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:05, closed)

I hear the 8th deadly sin is fidgeting

(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:28, closed)

Oh, but I like a good fidget...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:32, closed)