Rich!
Aged about ten, some friends and I were playing around on some waste ground behind a field on the edge of our estate. I saw something glinting in the sunlight some yards away, and curiosity got the better of me. I went over to take a closer look and found.....

Gemstones!

Loads and loads of beautiful shiny gemstones, like nothing I'd ever seen before, in quite a striking colour, all scattered across the floor. I stood there gobsmacked, not believing what I could see.

I had visions of richness beyond my wildest dreams. Making sure none of my mates could see, and panting wildly, I stuffed my pockets with as many as I could carry then charged off home as quickly as my skinny legs could carry me.

I got home, practically screamed "Mum, look, we're rich!!" and emptied my pockets all over the floor, proudly standing back to await the admiration.

Except she pointed out that you don't get black gemstones. And that even if you did, you'd be hard pressed to mistake them for solidified roofing tar. And that this was now all over the fucking carpet.

A few weeks later I found a strange funny-smelling balloon discarded beneath a hedge. She was even less happy about that.
(Ali Bongo 9000 Ali Bongo 9000, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:41, Reply)