Paedophilia and chocolate
Went to Belgium for a school trip when I was about 10. It wasn't manditory so there was only about 30 of us while the rich kids went skiing/sailing/inbreeding. Ferry over was spent with a couple of friends terrorising some poor bastard who's job it was to dress up as a huge foam seagull and give out sweets. The costume was so big and the ferry's corridors so narrow and long that with a little timing, we had a good 60m to kick him up the arse as many times as we could without him being able to turn around. We even got to pick up the trail of sweets he scattered as a result.

Anyway, we get to Belgium. We were split up into the usual 'naughty but popular' kids and 'non-ADD' kids. As a member of the latter, I thought it wierd that I got stuck sharing a room with a ginger lad who I knew was one of the popular ones in school. This new found 'friendship' meant that I hung out more with the 'popular' kids. It didn't last long, though and by the last night I shunned their offer of heavy drinking (fuck knows how 10 year olds get beer in a foreign country) in favour of going to the arcade.

Not a bad choice, in hindsight, as by the time we get back to the UK the teacher who had taken us had been fired for touching those kids up. Apparently he walked in on the drinking, blackmailed them, showed them 'how to wear a jockstrap' and let his finger do the walking.

I never believed it. The kids were trouble and, as it later turned out, I was right. They lied. But in the chaos, it came out that the teacher wasn't a paedo but was gay. These must be the same in the right-wing headmaster's mind, so the teacher got fired anyway and hushed up with severance pay.

Happy days.

I also have a nasty story about enjoying a jacuzzi in Toronto with my parents aged about 11 when all of a sudden up pops a turd. Assuming my parent don't have serious etiquette issues, the hotel must've fucked up their plumbing. That cut me deep.

Girth/length/blahblah
(thisismyclone, Thu 21 Apr 2005, 17:37, Reply)