Many many many
Ski trip with school:
- Spent a whole day skiing wearing a bright pink afro wig.
- On the long drive across Austria, Germany and France to the ferry, our coach crashed. One moment, fine, next: coach at 45-degree angle. At least, that was my point of view. Most other people had noticed that something was awry and that the coach was no longer parallel to the road's white lines, and had terrifiedly realised what was going to happen. The front of the coach was totally smashed (drivers were alright, though), and I was completely unaware of this also. So, I thought it was all a ripping lark, and I started an impromptu B-movie narration of it ("O calamity! How will our intrepid explorers extricate themselves from this predicament?" or something like that). As one, everyone around me said, "shut up, Anna!" in between panicked sobs.

I was one of few people who had no injuries whatsoever. This I attribute to the fact that I was also one of the few people who'd bothered to wear the seatbelts. Buckle up, kids.
The girl next to me hadn't been wearing her seatbelt, and was only saved from head injury by the fact that she collided with anchored me instead of falling into the aisle.

Huddled together in the cold dawn hours in a German service station, while our teachers argued in German with the angry staff (the station was technically still closed), we were nevertheless very excited to see our mangled coach on the German news.

Family holiday in Wales:
Utter fucking disaster. I thought it would be a nice change to have a British holiday, as we normally go to France. Plus, I quite fancied discovering the land of my ancestors (my dad's family is Welsh).
- Trod in a huge cow shit thinking it was a stone.
- We took the train up Snowdon, hoping to see the lully view. It was pissing down with rain and all foggy, but we reckoned that it would be clearer at the top. From the top we could see absolutely shit all. Everything further away than a few metres was white. They probably didn't even take us to the top - just round in a circle. Awful coffee in the cafe at the top too.
- Learned that in Wales 'interactive exhibits' means 'a few lift-up panels' and 'wide range of souvenirs' means 'wide range of crap with dragons on it'.
- Our hostess from whom we were renting our draughty 17th-century gatehouse caught me wearing my tiger costume (my mum made it for my brother with Down's Syndrome, but he hardly ever plays with it, so my other bro and I have taken to wearing it round the house as it's all cosy and fuzzy). I do wonder if I started a rumour.
- We had bacon on our first night there (this was my pre-vegan days), and my mum left the bacon fat in a coffee mug and forgot to later dispose of it. Next morning, my dad made himself some coffee. You can work out the rest. "Fucking hell!" followed by 'bleagh! bleagh! bleagh!' noises like a cat with a hairball.

Family holiday in France:
This was that year it was so damn hot lots of chickens and a few humans died because of the heat.
- We saw a preying mantis. That was cool.
- My dad got drunk and pretended to be a gay penguin. Then he threw radishes at me.
- Whenever I went to the supermarket French blokes approaching me from behind always said 'excuse me' and not 'excusez-moi'. I must look English even from behind.

Field trip for AS Biology:
Lots of pottering about on Exmoor, in the freezing cold, looking for cunting caddisfly larvae. I needed a wee and we were only halfway back to the coach, so I nipped into some tall vegetation. I can pee standing up, but the vegetation wasn't tall enough for that, and without a nice big porcelain bowl to catch it in, I didn't want to risk pissing all over my shoes, so I squatted. Thought I'd manoeuvred very cunningly, but nevertheless everyone saw my huge pink flowery granny-esque knickers.

EDIT: I can't believe I took the tiger suit to Wales with me.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 21 Apr 2005, 17:43, Reply)