it was a shite holiday
Majorca, 1997. Me and the bird have a couple of weeks between contracts and a bit of cash, so find a last minute deal for a few days in the sun in Puerto Pollensa, north of the island. Not that fkng original, but there you go.

Three days into the holiday I run out of smoking materials and get a bit antsy. needing something to do, I hire a bike and proceed to cycle to the top of Cap Formentor, a great lump of rock above the village with an old fort on top of it. Lovely ride up, winding passes, looks like the end of the Italian job except a bit dustier.

My first attempt takes me nearly an hour, complete with busloads of assorted elderly Europeans laughing at me trying to ride a road pass on a mountain bike. Fk em. Becoming slightly obsessed, I resolve to do it every late afternoon and sure enough my time comes down a good deal, I'm quite happy.

About a week or so in, the bird asks to come with me one day. Sure, i'll take it slow. we hire a bike for her, get up to the top of the hill, no problem.

The problem comes on the downhill. A pretty inexperienced cyclist, she gets spooked by a lorry overtaking crazily on a downward bend. The air movement causes her cap to fly off her head. Panicked, she pulls the wrong brake lever. And proceeds to go over the handlebars at full pelt, landing on her face and skidding to a halt underneath a crash barrier. Fortunately, she stopped before going over the edge and a 200ft or so sheer drop.

I can't for the life of me remember how I got her down off the hill. She was in a terrible state. I do remember I was very proud of her. And I remember taking her to the doctor, £200 of emegency dental work (she lost a front tooth and scraped a couple of others. And i remember eating out several times in the village square, with every b*stard looking at me thinking 'He's given her a right doing'.

And I remember an itchy feeling a couple of months later, a mole changing colour and texture, going to the doctor and being diagnosed with malignant melanoma, which had to be cut out leaving me with permanent, if interesting, scarring. Stay coverd up, kids, that's all I'm saying.

Apart from that, seriously, it was a great holiday . . .
(heed, Fri 22 Apr 2005, 16:25, Reply)