Australians
Way back in my first year of university an australian bloke turned up on his doorstep, planning on staying with one my housemate Andy. Although he'd only met this antipodean cumstain once previously he was welcomed in and shown the sofa. 4 of 5 days down the road his welcome was more than worn out but Andy couldn't bring himself to kick him out; so, being students, we went to the pub instead. After a few pints his half-baked opinions on multiculturalism (read racism) had pissed us off, so when he wanted to go out to a club we all politely declined. Apart from another housemate, Steve, that is. As the place they wanted to go to was a student night this mid-twenties aussie was worried he wouldn't get in, and as I didn't want him coming back right away and ruining the first chance I had to sit in the lounge for a while I leant him my student id.

The next morning, there was no sign of him or Steve. Naturally a little concerned, I texted Steve, no reply. Midday rolls around and they roll in the door, fresh from the cells with police cautions for criminal damage. It seems that the australian had decided to see how many wing mirrors he could snap off on the way home and only made it half-way down our road before being picked up by the police. He was kicked out of our house immediately and all returned to normal, until I saw my ID left for me on the kitchen table, that is. To this day I wonder what name he gave the Avon and Somerset constabulary when accepting that caution.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:51, Reply)