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This is a question House Guests

"Last week," Ungersven confesses, "I vomited over almost everything in a friend's spare room. The only thing to escape the deluge was the rather attractive (alas engaged) French girl who was sharing the bed with me." Tell us about nightmare guests or Fred West-a-like hosts.

(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 14:20)
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Well, where to begin
I'm not some kind of rigid disciplinarian or anything, honest I'm not, but unlike everyone else these days (or so it seems) I have tried to raise my kids to appreciate authority and the law. And normally they're pretty well behaved.

But sooner or later everybody slips up. My darling sprogs, doubtless having seen countless US TV shows featuring 'sleepovers' and 'pyjama parties', decided they wanted to have a friend come and stay. But they thought I wouldn't like the idea, so the little rogues managed to smuggle him into the house without me knowing, and hide him.

It turned out that this bloody friend of theirs was a lot older than them, not to mention, shall we say, from a completely different background. First he crept out of hiding and stole my flipping beer. Then he stole one of my kids' toys and completely bloody wrecked it. Then it turned out he had some nasty bug and gave it straight to my younger boy, making him really ill. And then, to cap that, it turned out he was in trouble with the authorities, and I had half the local police turn up on my doorstep. I didn't know where to put my face, I can tell you.

The last straw was that when I finally got this toerag out of the house, he stole one of my sodding geraniums and made my son's bicycle fly. Now is that or is that not beyond the pale? Thank god he's not shown up again since; I've been dreading a sequel for nearly thirty years....
(, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 0:59, 5 replies)
You're lucky the fucker didn't get his hands on your phone.
Imagine the bill!
(, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 1:21, closed)
Got a rotten cold, thanks for the giggle.
(, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 9:12, closed)
Took me a while...
Didn't catch it until the geranium. Excellent!
(, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:07, closed)

I had to reread it twice too, twathook :)
(, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 18:56, closed)
Fished In
Didn't get it 'til the bicycle reference, dammit!
(, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 0:05, closed)

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