Stop it!
I used to live with a guy, let's call him Gary. We were two guys, just out of university and embarking on London life from the little two bedroomed, rented flat in one of the less pleasant outskirts of the capital.

One Saturday, I came home from work to find a flat full of people in the midst of a party, I was late, but worked hard to catch up. Eventually, people started to decide it was time to sleep. Somehow, my flatmate and I ended up in the same bed, my bed (no, not like that) and the first thing I remember was waking up to see him standing in the corner of my room, urinating copiously.

As much as I shouted (and believe me, I shouted), he wouldn't stop, merely glancing round at me with the annoyed face of someone who is being shouted at when they are trying to pee.

He finished his business, shook off and came back towards the bed. At which point, I rapidly left the bed.

Looking back at him, now asleep once more, surrounded by a wet patch, I wondered what to do, so I went looking for somewhere to complete my night's sleep. The lounge and kitchen were both full of sleeping bodies and I expected his room to be full as well (surely he wouldn't have chosen to sleep in my bed if his own was free?), but on entering his room, found it empty. Gratefully, I collapsed into his bed and fell asleep.

In the morning, the door opened and in he came. "Why are you sleeping in my bed?". "Because you pissed in mine". "Oh, I wondered what the wet patch was".

In his defence, he did spend the rest of the day cleaning.
(stewiegriffin, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 13:28, Reply)