All I seem to really do at the moment...
...is pearoast, sorry about that, but, here's the story about our overnight houseguest:



In the wee small hours of one student morning, doing a couple of lines of something I shouldn't have been with a friend and playing on the NES (God, I am SO old).

We hear the front door open, We hear footsteps on the stairs.

We hear giggling, We hear moaning, We hear the unmistakable sounds of my Irish Cassanova flatmate getting down to the physical act of love.

I look at my co-conspirator, we shrug, and go back to our slightly aggressive game of Sensible Soccer, turning the volume up slightly, waiting for the inevitable signal that he had 'completed the task'


Why 'inevitable?' Well, we had a game, it was a very childish game admittedly, but it was our game nevertheless. If any of us pulled (and when I say any of us, I wasn't the most successful sexual adventurer as a student, so it was mainly the other guys), at the moment of climax, we'd have to shout an advertising slogan as loud as we could. You'd get a point for each housemate that heard it...



What would it be this time? we'd already recently had what I considered the unbeatable 'The Lion Goes From Strength To Strength!' yelled at about 9am on a Sunday morning.

We played another game of Sensible

And then we heard it, in a loud Irish Accent...

...'Don't Forget The Honey, Mummy!'

And we cracked. Cracked in the way that only two immature Charlie'd up wanker students could.

We were in hysterics, tears, crying, wheezing, giggling like buffoons.

We couldn't stop. I swear, it must have been 15 minutes later when, us still laughing, the door opened and in walked this girl we had never seen before.

She just said, 'I was just on my way home, but I had to come and see what was so funny'

So we explained, she didn't seem too put out, and, in fact, possibly even relieved that she had an explanation for the odd orgasm exclamation.

She was really sweet actually, and she stayed, talking to us, in a lovely, lilting Irish brogue for a good half hour.

I was beginning to think we could actually be friends.

Until the door burst open.

Irish Cassanova walked boldy in, wrapped in just a towel and proudly stated

'Oi, lads, oi've just fucked Terry Wogan's daughter...oh...I thought you'd left...'

She did.

Immediately.

For good.

Shame. It could have been my turn next.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 8:51, 4 replies)

This is all LIES!
Sensible Soccer was never released on the NES!

Have a click for being in the same house as someone who knobbed the Wogan's daughter though.
(SimianKid internet faffer, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 9:46, closed)

Was it not?
Must have been the Master System then I guess.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 9:52, closed)

It was on the SNES though

( Dervel OTBC, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:25, closed)

I'm sure
if you'd have asked him, he'd have knobbed you too, once he'd recovered.

You could have delivered the proper line then : "Tell 'em about the honey, Mummy"
(Rsoles, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:04, closed)