It's like the fucking Brady Bunch in my house...
Yes, there are 9 of us...

There's a core of people in my house who get on really well and have no problems at all.

Then there are 'the others'

It would take too long to go into detail about each person so I'll focus on just the one....Mike.

He's a very priviledged, son of a potato farmer, from Linconshire and he's a cunting fuckwad.

He lives at the gym, "sculpting his guns," yet does no sport and, from the lack of cardio exercise, is horrifically unfit. He lives off chicken and mashed potatoes and sees food only as nutrition to, "sculpt his guns."

He leaves lights on, ovens on, taps on and moans about everything. He thinks he's God's gift to women and I haven't found one who fancies him. He's also a naive, ignorant, inconsiderate bell end who is borderline gas chamber worthy.

And his eyes are too close together. Fact.
(Sir David Von Chodesworth can't find any audiobook transcripts, Sat 28 Feb 2009, 22:21, Reply)