Steve Sanchez
Steve Sanchez was a guy I had the fortune of living with in the second year of Uni. He got his name for an incident a few months into this year, that will (at least to my mind) be the only thing he will ever be remembered for. You see...having just got his loan payment through, Steve decided he wanted to spend it wisely and get hammered, and as a result a night on the town was demanded.

A few hours later, five obscenely drunk lads stumbled from the taxi to the house they were renting, and each went to their beds ready to nurse the obligatory hangover to come. At least, thats what myself and three others did. Steve instead (disappointed at not pulling) decided that the best course of action would be to have a drunken wank. Setting his laptop up on the desk at the side of his bed, and regaining at least enough sobrierty to negotiate his way to some half decent porn, Steve then did (what he would later describe when reccounting the tale as) the most pungeant and powerful fart of his life. He apparently decided to enjoy it, and really let rip. Proud of this most manly of feats, he got into bed and started tossing away like a safari park chimp. But the smell of the fart never went away. It absolutely stunk...of shit.

The next afternoon Steve stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen, where a few of us were eating the left over pizza from the day before. That is where we saw the most sickeningly funny site that I think I will ever see. Steve had a shittache. A moustache crafted from his own turd. It turned out that his fart had unknowingly turned into a bit more than that, and that a piece of shit had flown from his arse and landed on the very top of his duvet cover. This piece of shit, had then been transferred and wiped onto his top lip when he got into bed, and remained there all night. He had managed to dirty sanchezed himself.
( Furness, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 0:25, 1 reply)

Nothing
quite like having a wank whilst having a shit
(Buftoon posted this on, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 0:34, closed)