Not me, but a friend...
First year of uni. She'd moved out of her first flat to escape the drunken, drugged revelry and hopefully move into a calmer place to live. That was the idea. What she got was a boy I shall call Brian.

Brian was an interesting person and, considering the last report I've heard about him claims he's been hobbling around campus on crutches with his shirt undone, he's probably still an interesting person. Brian loved drink. He loved drugs. He loved to mix the two all night long, every night - when he wasn't getting laid, anyway. Or maybe he didn't even stop for that. Brian would sit, naked, in the kitchen, with only an acoustic guitar to cover his shame. Brian would get high on ecstacy and headbutt doors. I refuse to discuss what he did to the unfortunate gerbil he bought. The other flatmates were similarly exciting, but not quite at his level.

But the incident that really takes the biscuit happened, unsurprisingly, after another night of excess. My friend, who was trying to sleep at the unreasonable hour of four AM, was slightly startled to hear an incredibly convincing impression of a cockrel. Even though it had disturbed her sleep, she was pretty impressed, and made a note to ask who'd done it in the morning.

A few hours later, there was banging on her door.
"We've got something to show youuuu," Brian crooned. She threw the bedcovers back, then stopped. No. It couldn't be. She shook her head and opened the door. She was greeted by a flailing pair of claws. Claws that were, indeed, attached to a cockrel.

One of her other flatmates had lived on a farm and had learned the slightly unusual skill of catching birds. There are birds near a lake on campus. Last night, he and Brian had thought that it would be a good idea to bring these facts together into one happy marriage, and the offspring was the squawking mess in front of her.

What really confuses me is why a student, of all people, would ever think it is a good idea to bring home what is basically nature's alarm clock.
(panapops, Tue 3 Mar 2009, 13:43, 1 reply)

Perhaps he saw it
as nature's KFC instead.
(Hippo_of_Doom, Tue 3 Mar 2009, 23:39, closed)