The Geeeeeeerm(an)s! The Geeeeeeeeeerm(an)s!
Last term I lived in halls in Switzerland, next door to a mental German girl called Estella. Estella was a med student and she was anal. We shared a lobby and a shower, nothing more or else I would have killed her.

One evening, I decided to wash my hair as I had to be up early the next morning (precious sleep). Being a long-haired girly, I bundled it all up into a towel on top of my head and made my way back to my room. Five minutes later

*whap**whap**whap* on the door.
Me: Yeah?
Estella: What just happened in the bathroom?
Me: I had a shower.
Estella: Come here.
(Estella points to one little spot of water on the floor)
Estella: If you do that again we'll get mould everywhere.
Me: What, from one spot of water? Look, I didn't have my contacts in and without them I can't see a thing.
Estella: Just don't do it again. EVER.

A few months later I am taking a shower in the morning, and again being a girly decide to shave my legs while I'm at it. Being blind as a bat without my contacts I graze some part of my leg and don't notice. It bleeds.

It bleeds on the bathmat. Which belongs to Estella.

Oh noes!

I come out of my room a few minutes later to go to uni and find the bathmat lying in a heap outside my door. I don't need to have watched CSI to know it was chucked there. Estella's door is open and she is ranting in German on Skype.

Estella does not know that I speak German.

Estella proceeds to rant for the next ten minutes about how messy and inconsiderate I am and how she could die or something from the mess I am leaving.

Estella's other great annoying feature was her psychic gift of knowing when I needed to get up early, as it was these nights that she would invite her boyfriend over, and the sex music would go on (crap R&B, even though there isn't another kind). I became best friends with my iPod headphones at this time as I knew she didn't speak English, so banging on the walls yelling "STOP! SHAGGING! ESTELLA!" would have been pretty redundant.

It's one of my greatest regrets I never left her a "fuck you bitch" note. Or a "good luck, you'll need it" for the girl who now lives there.
( Maladicta, Thu 5 Apr 2007, 23:52, Reply)