Upstairs Dave
We had a flatmate called Upstairs Dave (we had two Daves, one lived in the upstairs room, one in a downstairs room, so we named them accordingly) and he was disgusting. He'd come back from lectures, remove half his clothes and curl up in the living room corner eating some form of food we could never identify, and then talk over whatever you were watching. His room stank of compost, you could sometimes smell it when the door was closed. If you want to know exactly how bad it was, visit Cheltenham railway stations toilets, it smells like that. He even made the Tramps outside smell nice by comparison

What was worse was the fact that he tended to get a bit gay when drunk (although he was fairly camp when sober). Anal sex would invariably enter the conversation, no matter the subject, and he even tried to molest one of our house mates. Luckily we were able to move out, three of us into a shared house with my girlfriend, and Downstairs Dave moved in with his girlfriend. What happened to Upstairs Dave I don't know, but I bet whichever hospital he's in has suffered an outbreak of MRSA

Actually, the worst thing he ever did was make us sit through the "hilarious" rehab-based comedy 28 Days starring Sandra Bullock, which is probably the worst film I have ever seen. You beg an to wish that it was merged with 28 Days Later, and zombies turned up at the rehab clinic, killing all involved. I've since repressed all memory of this film.
(Sciuridae with Paridae How long has it been since I last posted?, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 0:01, Reply)