Second year Uni blues
In my second year at uni in Reading, I descided to move into a house near the city centre. Two mins from pubs bars and shops, sorted. Didn't move into a house with anyone from halls (cos basicaly the majority of them were twunts!) and moved into a spare room in a student house. People seemed friendly enough, was told I would be replacing a mate of theirs called Andy. Fair enough, nice big room.
Came back after the summer to find that another chap called Nigel (good lad, but a dirty fucker) had been staying, and had never cleaned the house....ever! Before I go into detail I just want to say I had a right giggle in this house all things considered.....
1) The house was beyond filthy, never cleaned, dust and crap everywher, dirty plates etc the usual Student mess.
2) There was no lock on the back door. When I asked the landlord why, he said they never needed it. Told him that if anyone broke in I didn't give a fuck cos my room was insured to the hilt, but he really would be fucked, cos no insurance company would pay out if the house wasn't secure! Next day 8am I awake to the sound of a lock being installed. Success!
3) Old TVs and shopping trolleys frequented our back yard, which was a literal jungle by summer (we couldn't find the lawnmower, the grass was that tall!)
4) Nigel after getting pissed on his 20th, proceeded to come home smashed and vomit in the bath and shit in the sink AT THE SAME TIME! To be fair, he did clean it up after.
5) One of the girls decided she didn't like me/loved me at the same time (I heard her drunkenly telling the others) despite the fact she had a boyfriend who came to visit (who she 'loved' of course) who was a sorted bloke (plus I really was not interested in any chubby lovin'!)
6) The lad in the next room to me, who grew his own weed and would leave his alarm clock going off all weekend in his room, that pissed us off so much that I was given permission to kick his door down to turn it off. He wasn't pleased when he came back.
7) Two of the lads regularly stealing armchairs/any furniture from outside shops/rubbish tips and bringing them home as 'smoking chairs'.
8) Finally, one of the guys let a mate of his stay over Easter. This guy, who we took to calling 'Rat Man Dan' left shit everywhere, including a manky tramp coat in the sitting room. Getting pissed one night I decided to burn it ceremonialy outside. Apparently when he returned for the coat Nigel handed him a rather chared sleeve......

Apologies for length.......but you love it you slag!
(Polish bstard, Sun 8 Apr 2007, 13:35, Reply)