Twat alert.....
In my first year at uni me and my mates all came through clearing and so got put in a nice big house together...Not too bad to start with...except John (or Jonnie to his 'Mummy') was abit of a public school twit asked me one day "How do you work a tin opener" etc.....It all started going a bit weird before Christmas when my mate 'B' noticed John started wearing the same sort of clothes etc in a sort of single White Female stalking type way...'B' went home and said that he was getting a flat top style haircut-John hurried down to town and got himself a similar haircut-He looked a complete twat- Of course 'B' hadn't had such a stupid haircut- he just did it to test to see if John was really stalking him.....Then all of a sudden all the girls in our course stop talking to us....? We then find out John has been telling them that I have been boasting about sleeping with them all (unfortunately untrue) In a fit of rage I take a clump of pubes and put it in his butter.....Two days later when I am out he proceeds to eat a loaf of bread as toast with 'puby' butter on it in front of my other 3 mates (dry puking leaving room in tears of laughter)....john then gets the message that we all hate him becoz he's such a twat and latches onto some other unlucky students!!! He turns his room into a sort of black hole with blankets over the windows etc and only appears occasionally....In the summer term suddenly one of his twatty mates 'MVD' appears with the college porters with the news that John has gone up onto the moors to kill himself-No he hasn't we all say but they need his car registration to give to the police who are searching for him....About 2 hours later John comes in the house, we inform him that half of Devon and Cornwall Constabulary are looking for him---they found him sulking in his car in the Unis car park...he goes to bed but gets 'counselling' from our Chav South Wales housemate Chris about how he should cheer himself up with a nice kentucky!!!!
Generally a twat who anybody who he did'nt actually live with thought he was lovely- anyone who shared a house thought he was a cnut....He left halfway through the second year as he was shit at history....

Sorry about length but 12 years on is still burned into my memory like a tattoo...
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Mon 9 Apr 2007, 20:02, Reply)