The weirder one...
His name was Norris, well we called him that because it irritated him. He was and probably still is a fat, sweaty, soap dodging, obnoxious, sanctimoniuos, pain in the arse who firmly believes that he is gods gift to women. He has had some quality indescretions:
- Being caught weiner in hand watching the sky 10 minute free-veiw in the middle of the lounge.
- Sexually harassing a co-worker to the point of nearly getting fired/taken to court (instead we just humilliated him till he moved away)
- Being 'right' all the time, unfortunately he was very stupid aswell as self obsessed and would happily argue that contrary to all available evidence he was right on a selection of subjects over which he had no expertise.
- Was incapable of using a bin, if the bin was out of arms reach he would place the rubbish as near to the bin as he could reach without moving so we could trace where he had been by the line of rubbish.
- Had an amazing surround sound system which required him to sit in the middle of the room blocking every one elses view of the TV, yet was so deaf that when we reversed the rear speakers, wired the left and right channels out of phase and disconnected the centre channel he didn't notice.
- Was so homophobic that if any man touched him he practically went into shock and the slightest hint of male flesh made him have an absolute fit. I used to walk around in a pair of shorts just for the sounds of utter revulsion, if you took off your shirt he had to leave the room.
- Despite being a chemist he failed to spot the problems of storing 20L of nitromethane\methanol fuel for his RC car in warm parts of the house, like on radiators.
- He found mould funny
- His finest hour was arriving at work one day with a black eye so well defined that you could see the knuckle marks claiming to have 'slipped on a wire' we are convinced he got punched by a 12 year old for looking at his girl friend.
- His former colleagues have an outstanding bet that he'll be on the register before he is 30.
So if you are ever unlucky enough to go out in Swindon and see a sweaty dark haired pervert hanging around "The Bedroom" say Hi from me :)
(lankymike, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 11:59, Reply)