letting agents
see a LOT of dirty bastards. fleas. years of utter failure to clean. before digital cameras, i used to have to collect armfuls of photos of bathrooms and kitchens that made me itch just looking at the pictures. the hot guy in the photo shop must have thought i was a total weirdo.

one of the worst for me was when the landlady rang me in tears. our inventory checker (himself a reeking french twat) had ticked the house as clean and tidy. somehow having missed the fact that the three tenants (brothers, their parents must have been so proud) had shat on the floor and wiped their arses on the curtains...

or the fundamentalist muslim landlord who wouldn't let me in the house at first because i was wearing a short skirted suit and was bare headed. then relented but insisted i took my shoes off. and when he'd moved out and i let it for him, the tenant discovered boxes and boxes of porn in the attic. what's the word in the koran for "FILTHY HYPOCRITE"???

the tenant who put mirrored tiles all around the corner where his bed was. that was fun, showing people around his flat when he moved out.

the gay landlord who had his boyfriend's ashes in an urn in the back garden. he simply could not understand why i recommended he move it, then got huffy and called another agent.

the landlord whose flat was above a curry house and had NO BATHROOM!!! he said he thought tenants could "use the toilet in the restaurant when it was open" and "shower in the gym across the road".

tip of the insane and dirty iceberg, guys.

oh, and i was also once sent out as a 17 year old summer student to see if a tenant had died in his bed because the neighbours were complaining of flies. he hadn't, his brother had taken him to hospital, but the rotting steak on the hob had attracted about 1,000,000 flies. and the electricity was off. i still have nightmares about tiptoeing around that creepy fly filled basement hellhole with a torch, looking for a corpse...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 18:11, Reply)