Apparently I'm a sex offenderI was once paid £15 to count the amount of people visiting a hairdresser. I stood outside for 3 hours with a clicky counter in my pocket, pressing it every time a person entered. Suddenly there's a copper in front of me, I turn and there's another behind. "What are you up to sunshine?" "A rival hairdresser wants to count the competition" "Well, there's been a call from the shop owner that there's a ginger bloke standing outside fiddling with his cock." Have you ever done anything that made strangers think you were a pervert?
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rob, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 22:20)
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Filthy, dirty bastardAbout four years ago two friends and I were waiting in a New York subway station for a train after a night out. I was nervous enough(with all the things you hear about such places) when my anxiety levels rocketted through the roof as I clocked a very tall, mental and strong looking guy having a tug on the platform.
He was stood slightly back so that most people facing the tracks couldn't see him. Even so, plenty had noticed and were ignoring him. He was drooling with his pants around his arse and staring intently at a group of oblivious girls. When he noticed that I was looking (agog) at him he fixed his gaze on me and entered into a staring competition, still tugging merrily away (Obviously, he had no prefernce for gender). It seemed like he was scrutinising my very soul.
Looking him in the eye was a mistake. I was hypnotised. Frozen in the gaze of the Medusa. You've never known confusion until you've been eyeballed by a wanking mentalist.
The usual fight or flight reactions deserted me and I was under his spell, rooted to the spot, all the time thinking 'surely he's embarrassed and will stop.' Thank God the train came.
He's probably still there - looking intense and flogging his pud.
Okay, so it wasn't me who was the sex pest, but I still felt dirty afterwards.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2006, 16:02, Reply)
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