Went to me nephew's Birthday Party.
Shea was 5, and was going to Jungle Jim's - a safehaven for parents who want to subject thier children to "padded" scaffholding (only a matter of time before a kid dies, I tell thee). Me sis-in-law had organised a party for about 20 kids in this multi-coloured-sponge-dungeon and Shea nagged and nagged for me to come along. With threats that if I don't turn up I'll be ruining his birthday looming in the background, I swallow my tongue and head on in.

Now in this place, there's a cafe with a sitting area by the entrance surrounded with tables for the parents to sit and, well generally smoke thier brains out. I happened to notice that this "cafe" also sold Special VAT over the counter; a tramp-quality brew which is literally alcohol tar in a can. Nice.

I'm sitting about at one of these tables reading a newspaper (and trying to ignore the fact that right that minute Wales and England were battling it out in the Six Nations Rubgy tourney WHICH I WAS MISSING), and I suddenly had a moment of self-awareness ie someone was looking at me oddly. I lower the paper and glance about, seeing some bloke at the next table staring at me.

"Err, you alright mate?"

"Yeah. Who'se your kid then?" - I knew where this was leading immediately. So he thinks I'm on the prowl for some kids, eh? Fuck him.

"None of them, just window shopping mate."

Cue odd looks until me nephew runs up and tells me about this bully he just chinned in the ball-pen.

Some choice memorable moments;

1 - Shea had a party room hired out upstairs in this building. He was going through a "Spiderman" phase, seeing as Spiderman 2 had just come out in the cinema too at that time. Cue the crowd of kids moving into a room with 2 tables full of kids and party food. And some YTS boy dressed up as Spiderman. He looked like one of those Aliens from "Scary Movie 3", fucking hysterical I was, I couldn't look at him. Plus he spoke in a stupid American accent; "Hello Shpideyfans!" - on retrospect, it could have been Stan Lee.

2 - Leaving the party, while in me car I get cut up by a twat in a volvo who promptly sets off a speed camera then breaks hard in front of me, causing me to ram straight into the back of him. The speed cam was a dud, and there were no witnesses. There goes the no-claims bonus. Fucking volvo drivers.

3 - England trounced Wales. Fuck.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 21 Aug 2006, 18:22, Reply)