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This is a question Apparently I'm a sex offender

I was once paid £15 to count the amount of people visiting a hairdresser. I stood outside for 3 hours with a clicky counter in my pocket, pressing it every time a person entered. Suddenly there's a copper in front of me, I turn and there's another behind. "What are you up to sunshine?" "A rival hairdresser wants to count the competition" "Well, there's been a call from the shop owner that there's a ginger bloke standing outside fiddling with his cock." Have you ever done anything that made strangers think you were a pervert?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 22:20)
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Oh deary me!
So the 9 day long Hindu festival of Navratri started, and I had some work to do in the local Indian community's temple. I took a young scrote with me to give me a hand, foot the ladder etc, and drilled into him the need to show respect, remove his shoes, not to take the piss, and basically to behave, upon pain of a royal kicking.

Things were progressing swimmingly, the work was quickly and easily finished, and out of respect for my clients, we sat down to watch the proceedings for a while.

These proceedings consisted of 100 or so people chanting, singing, bells, drums, and dancing - standard religious festival stuff, I imagine. After some time, we were brought a couple of small bags of dried fruit and nuts which I wolfed down.
My young slave, sorry, apprentice, wasn't quite as greedy as me, and had plenty left, so I reached across and pinched some. Much to his annoyance, I did it again. And again. He shouted his displeasure at me over the building crescendo of the ceremony.
Once again, I leaned over to pilfer a few peanuts. Suddenly, the prayer/chant came to an end, at the exact same time he bellowed :

"Will you get your hands off my nuts!!!!!"

Every single person in that temple span round to see me, evil infidel English pig-dog, defiling their holy ceremony by apparently leaning over and interfering with this youth.

We made our excuses and left, though he had to support me, I was too weak from laughing to walk properly.
(, Mon 21 Aug 2006, 20:23, closed)

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