Apparently I'm a sex offenderI was once paid £15 to count the amount of people visiting a hairdresser. I stood outside for 3 hours with a clicky counter in my pocket, pressing it every time a person entered. Suddenly there's a copper in front of me, I turn and there's another behind. "What are you up to sunshine?" "A rival hairdresser wants to count the competition" "Well, there's been a call from the shop owner that there's a ginger bloke standing outside fiddling with his cock." Have you ever done anything that made strangers think you were a pervert?
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rob, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 22:20)
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pantsI look after and live with my grandmother, and late one night last summer I remembered she didn't have any clean pants for the morning. No problem, I knew my mother had cleaned some and so I ran over to my parents house to get some out of their washing machine.
I was already dressed for bed (scraggy t-shirt, boxers), I just popped on some shorts and sandals and set off. Tired and rough looking, having been to the pub earlier and had a few *smokes*.
Ran to mum and dads, grabbed said underwear, put in a carrier bag, walked back home, traa la la.
Cue police car. As I live in a rough area, you get used to it, normal questions, "What you doin, where you been?" etc. Now I did look a bit peculiar, as ever, and so I didn't mind the questions, but it was cold and wanted to go home, and was acting drowsy and tired.
"What's in the bag mate?"
"Er, ermm..."
* torches upon bag of soggy old lady pants *
"Get in the back of the car you fucking pervert."
They thought I'd been stealing from washing lines, and after I shouted the story (they were only going to listen to me at the station) they dropped me off almost 15 minutes away from my house (in an even rougher area) freezing my arse off without a word of apology.
Nice.
The police can be right humourless shits sometimes, but they did catch The Worlds Worst Mugger last week for me so I'll forgive them.
(, Tue 22 Aug 2006, 13:14, Reply)
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