On belhalf of my dad I shall post some of the things
he heard in his 17 months working for a security firm at the airport.

(bear in mind that my dad had the benefit of an x-ray scanner for this)
Dad: Do you have anything gas, electrical or battery operated in your bag sir?
Passenger: No
Dad: Well, I can see a plug
Passenger: No
Dad: A kettle perhaps?
Passenger: Oh yes
Dad: Anything else?
Passenger: No
Dad: What about the iron I can see then?
Passenger: Oh yes, that too
Dad: So you do have electrical items in your bag then, don't you sir?
Passenger: (and honest to god, he said this with a straight face) But they aren't plugged in

One of my favourite stories is one that was overheard between two of the baggage handlers he knew. One was telling the other how the American Airlines flight from Chicago had landed and the pilot had radioed to maintenance to have a look at some of the radio equipment that wasn't working in the cockpit. The engineer went to check it and found that it was actually working fine but as it turns out, they had flown all the way from America with the thing switched off. Tales like that don't do much to reassure you about long haul air travel.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Fri 7 Jan 2005, 9:42, Reply)