I Hurt My Rude Bits, Again
My commute to work was made excellent the other day when I saw a motorcyclist try to ride on the pavement to avoid a traffic queue, lose control, fall off and land bollock-first on a concrete bollard. He was fine, eventually – but tell us your tales of the old blinding agony to the gentleman's or gentlewoman's area.
( , Thu 7 Mar 2013, 12:50)
My commute to work was made excellent the other day when I saw a motorcyclist try to ride on the pavement to avoid a traffic queue, lose control, fall off and land bollock-first on a concrete bollard. He was fine, eventually – but tell us your tales of the old blinding agony to the gentleman's or gentlewoman's area.
( , Thu 7 Mar 2013, 12:50)
« Go Back
Hockey Balls
15 minutes from the end of a PE lesson found myself, my friend Granny and the 5th year's nutter Wayne playing 'hit the hockey ball across the school field as hard as we can at each other' in the manner of sixteen year olds the world over having been given sticks and told to smash balls for sports practice.
Pretty much the last 'pass' - the whistle had gone and Sir had told us the lesson was over - was an absolute screamer. Wayne connected hard with the ball and set it flying just above the grass toward Granny.
Granny wasnt silly. He knew there was no point trying to control this missile, so he jumped up in order to let the ball pass harmlessly underneath him. At precisly this point however, the ball hit a divot on the field. Its trajectory changed to perfectly meet Granny's testes in mid jump.
He then performed the 'ive just been smashed in the nads with a hard object floor crumple'. But he did it in mid air.
It took him the whole of the subsequent history lesson to be able to sit up straight again.
( , Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)
15 minutes from the end of a PE lesson found myself, my friend Granny and the 5th year's nutter Wayne playing 'hit the hockey ball across the school field as hard as we can at each other' in the manner of sixteen year olds the world over having been given sticks and told to smash balls for sports practice.
Pretty much the last 'pass' - the whistle had gone and Sir had told us the lesson was over - was an absolute screamer. Wayne connected hard with the ball and set it flying just above the grass toward Granny.
Granny wasnt silly. He knew there was no point trying to control this missile, so he jumped up in order to let the ball pass harmlessly underneath him. At precisly this point however, the ball hit a divot on the field. Its trajectory changed to perfectly meet Granny's testes in mid jump.
He then performed the 'ive just been smashed in the nads with a hard object floor crumple'. But he did it in mid air.
It took him the whole of the subsequent history lesson to be able to sit up straight again.
( , Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)
« Go Back