Not mine (thank fuck) - altho I do have a few.
Many years ago a friend of mine called Tom decided to get himself a genital piercing.
A Prince Albert to be precise. In a market in Goa about a week before he arrived home on New Years Eve.
To the uninitiated a PA is a piercing that enters the tip of the penis, goes longways down the bottom of the glans and usually exits at the frenulum. Owing to the fact that it goes thru some serious nerves and the urethra it must be well looked after.

During the evening of fun and frivolity at which I'm getting very wankered and slightly toasted, my mate I hadn't seen in over a year sidles up and mentions his new addition to his body. Now Tom & I have been besties for many, many years - we've been there, done that and got the "I fucked that" t-shirts. Often together. So modesty isn't really an issue with us. "I have got to see this!" thinks me to myself so off we go to my room to have a look.
Cue my then gf Renee entering our room nonplussed to find Tom with his kekks around his ankles, me on my knees in front of him admiring his cock. (That, people is another story for another day). She took it all in her stride, bless her and came for a peek. Then she uttered the fateful words...
"Should it be that swollen and purple?" Trust me when I say, NO fnar, fnar.

Now Tom's spent a week bathing in India (probably the fucking Ganges knowing him!) and the a 14 odd hr. flight home where hes cabbed it luggage and all straight to my place.
He looks down and a small squeak escapes his mouth. Renee goes out to find her friend Shelly who just happens (at this hour) to be a very drunk and trippy nurse. Shelly smiles at Tom, gives him a peck on the cheek to say hello and 'gets down to join the party' - by this stage our trio kneeling around Tom must look a little interesting if nothing else. "Oh." she says. She asks Tom if he's had problems weeing. "Dunno, not really." he stammers quietly. "Well -" slurs Shelly, "It's my professional opinion that you get that looked at asap - the wound site is infected and I'd guess you've probably also got a uti if not bladder infection."

Tom needs a few stiff drinks and a medicinal joint once he's re-robed. I took him to Emergency on New Years Day. From there eventually he was transferred to a private hospital (rich Mummy & Daddy) where he spent his 1st week back in Oz with several full blown exotic infections and on numerous drips to treat them. They took out the bar he had in, and he's since managed to father a lovely little girl and afaik he can still piss and fuck effectively.
If you must let people poke your willy with sharp things; make sure you at least witness them taking the implements out of an autoclave and despite the pain I'd bathe the site in disinfectant regularly till it was all healed.

The bar was surgical steel, about 12mm with two screw on balls, one at each end.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 23:18, 5 replies)

bar? twat.
plus, these things require oh, you know, basic hygiene. urgh at your minging mate.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 4:50, closed)

I think the plan was to put a sleeper in at a later date.
Unfortunately that didn't transpire.

Tom is usually fairly neat, clean and tidy. His personal hygiene off-continent I cannot vouch for.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 9 Mar 2013, 5:05, closed)

oh, ringo.
let's have an unrelated bitchfest about your friend's dirty penis xx
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 5:32, closed)

I'll get you this for your next birthday Janet.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 9 Mar 2013, 7:22, closed)

love you babes xxx

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 7:39, closed)