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This is a question Accidental innuendo

Freddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"

What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context

(, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
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Grandmas; the worst
Easy one this; one Christmas, as usual everyone in the family and beyond sat round the table stuffing ourselves with all the goodies you get in a hoooooge Christmas diner. A good time had by all.

After finishing up everything, christmas pud and all, we're sat around wondering what to do next. Someone suggests we go for a walk, but mother protests, to be heard above the general chorus of agreement "Not until I've boned the turkey!" (emphasis hers).
An unnatural silence is ushered in as we all realise A how that sounded, and B we were thinking the same thing. A monocle is dropped into a brandy. A dog howls in the distance. Mum glares at just about everyone.

And Grandma starts to snigger; triggering a tortuous attempt at suppressing my own guffaws. Yes, my grandma sniggering at the idea of my very own mother boning a turkey with a strap-on (one would presume is how).

We have our walk in stony silence. Grandma's are the worst, I swear.

Length? I've never checked.
(, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 14:06, Reply)

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