My dear old mum
was a very proper person. She never used "bad" swear words, apart from one time she called my ex a bastard and she whispered it, her limit was "shit". Talk about sex of any kind was unheard of and she became really angry one time when I declared I was going to the toilet to "have a shengis". I was 20 and she chased me with a rolled up newspaper.

All of this just made it even funnier when she innocently stumbled into some sexual innuendo.

She did the main QOTW one once with my best mate, having had new windows put in and the front one being cracked. "Oh Eddie, have you seen my big crack?"

But her best by far was when I lived down the street. She used to visit me most nights while walking the dog for a chat, my Dad works evenings so she'd usually have something to eat cooking away for him coming home. Sometimes, it would be chicken thighs.

This led to the best one I ever heard her say. She sprang off the couch with a look of surprise on her face. "Oh NO!" she shouted, "I need to go! Your dad's thighs will be burning!"

I collapsed.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 14:26, Reply)