Bit of a hostel reception
Whilst backpacking through South Africa with the gf and my best mate we arrived at the Port Elizabeth hostel in the evening on the backpacker bus. This essentially meant a dozen of us arrived together and we'd spent the previous few hours on a minibus being jolly and chatting. So within our little group the ice was properly broken.

So picture if you will the "resident bitch"* who was there to do the meet n' greet not being entirely delighted to find a dozen sweaty backpackers interrupting her planned evening of TV rubbish.

She got on with checking us all in, which essentially meant give someone a room number and take their cash. The gf and I had a double room and best mate was in one of the shared dormitory/bunk rooms.

So, evidently it was the procedure at this hostel to give us weary travellers "the tour". Now frankly the 12 of us couldn't give a monkeys, we were hungry weary and bored. We wanted to shower, eat then drink!

"Resident Bitch" was having none of it and went on at length about proper ettiquette for the kitchen, labelling food in the fridge etc etc. Eventually we go to looking round the rooms and "dropping" people off as we reached their room number.

We reached one room, best mates room, which had just 1 of the 6 beds vacant. It was the top bunk and "Resident Bitch" announced hers was the bed on the bottom bunk (in case we needed to find her).

To which I piped up to my mate "Looks like you're on top then!".

I meant it innocently... really I did. The silence only made it worse. Everyone was looking at me and I was blissfully ignorant to what I'd said... the penny dropped when the Aussie bloke fell about laughing, the steely ice glare from Resident Bitch cut right through me and best mate went as red as radish.

That was it, the tour was over. Not so much that she wouldn't continue more that we as a group wouldn't listen. We were reduced to a bunch of giggling school children who've finally learnt their enemies weakness. She was defeated.

*It's common practice in hostels for a casual backpacker to work an evening/day or two a week in exchange for free accommodation. As such they're not so much suited to the job as cheap and available (Ooh! There's another one!).
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 15:19, Reply)