Call-centre shenanigans
I've been in and out of shitty call centre jobs for pretty much my entire working life. It's always the same - once you've been in a job for a while you start to feel trapped, like you're in a deep, dark hole. You start to feel like you need to pull out and find another one. But then your CV starts to swell, growing larger and larger, and it becomes more and more difficult to get out of the hole. Soon, you just feel like you're going to explode, like you need a release, but the holes just keep on pulling you back in. It doesn't help that the managers are all massive pricks - a bit of power, and their head swells to massive proportions. They're all about the corporate message - always ramming it down your throat. Deviate from the message and you'll find yourself being disciplined - locked in a small room, going at it hammer and tongs, sometimes for over an hour.

Yes, life as a call-centre monkey is pretty shit, but it's not all bad. Whilst working in customer services for a major mobile company, I overheard the following exchange (the customer was having trouble with their phone, and Gary was asking them to remove the SIM card)

Gary: "If you can just get it out for me, sir. Are you having trouble? Yes, it can be quite hard. I always find it's hard when I try and get mine out. Well, you just keep on fiddling about with it. Take your time, you don't want to break it."

There were a couple of sniggers from the surrounding desks. Gary glanced up and winked at me - I hoped it was in a 'Watch me wind up this customer' kind of way, and not a 'See me in the toilets later, big boy' kind of way.

Gary: "So, you've got it out? Okay, now give it a wipe - we don't want any dust on it - and stick it back in. You might need to kind of force it in there. Yeah, it can be tricky. Make sure you're putting it in the right slot. We don't want to get it in the wrong slot - that could seriously mess things up."

There are now gales of laughter surging around Gary, and he is struggling to keep his composure. To be fair, he's holding it together pretty well, with only the odd chuckle escaping.

Gary: "Now, get it turned on. Yep, we'll just wait while it powers up. Okay, and if you can pull up the 'settings' menu for me. Have you got it up yet?"

At which point he put the customer on mute and burst out laughing. After the laughter subsided, he managed to explain the customer had answered, "I'm having some trouble" in a quavering voice, and his wife had shouted "Do you need a hand dear?" in the background.

Mr Greenwood, if you're reading this, thank you for brightening up an otherwise dull day. I hope you did get it up eventually...
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 17:12, 1 reply)

I'll bet it was in a "See me in the toilets later, big boy" kind of way...

*wink*
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 12 Jun 2008, 17:34, closed)