Out the mouths of babes (not that sort you sick puppies)
One glorious day, the sun was shinning, the step kids had been surprisingly well behaved and little Mr Monkeyboy was feeling generous, "lets go to the sweet shop" he says.
So off we toddled to buy us some sweets, oh innocent joy.
In the shop, little Monkette points to the polos "Can I have those ones?"
"No, you can't, they're not sweets" (and I remember that small child plus unhealthy doses of laxative laced sweetners make for messy poo time)
"How about them?" she points to tic tacs on the shelf by the polos
"No dear, they're not sweets either"
Little Monkette then decides that she lives a life of misery. Her nasty step dad invites her to have sweets then denies her her choice. Little face begins to collapse, bottom lip quivers and in comes mum, just in time to see how badly stepdad treats her little baby.
"What's wrong darling"
"Daddy Monkey wont let me have anything from the top shelf"
Cue everyone in the shop going quiet for seconds followed by the sound of everyone trying to muffle the sound of their laughter, a sound which enrages little Monkette even more (all those nasty adults are laughing at her misfortune).
Stamps feet and shouts "BUT I WANT SOMETHING FROM THE TOP SHELF!"
Now, whole shop is in hysterics, little child bursts into tears and runs out, only to be comforted by purchase of tic tacs by mother (who, if you wanted to know, leaves me to deal with shit covered child later, thanks)

Note:for those who don't know how petrol station sweets are set up in Britain, the mint products all live on the top shelf of the confectionary section
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Fri 13 Jun 2008, 10:25, 2 replies)

I
still don't get it.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 3:52, closed)

@kitty
top shelf = porn mags
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Sat 14 Jun 2008, 16:01, closed)