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This is a question Accidental innuendo

Freddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"

What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context

(, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
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My First Visit To The Doctor In Cologne
So, off I went to the Doctor to register. Bear in mind I had been resident in Germany for about a year and a half, and had been having language lessons.

"Herr Dix" says the Doctor, going through his little checklist, "Haben Sie Verkehr?" - He's just asked me "do you have traffic?"

Somewhat puzzled, I reply "Ja, Jeden Morgen mit dem Bus", only to have the doctor explode into hysterical laughter.

Not only does Verkehr mean traffic, it is short for geschlechtsverkehr - sexual traffic ie a sex life.

I had just told the Doctor that every morning I have sex with a bus.

Length? Well I burnt my balls on the exhaust pipe.
(, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:27, closed)
I had sex with a bus once too.
The ungrateful bitch.
(, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:31, closed)
Click
for the post, and Bert's reply. You guys....
(, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:42, closed)
Buses, eh?
No sooner do you get on than they want to pull away. Hurf.
(, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:58, closed)
I had this problem when doing German GCSE
In the speaking test practise, I told the German exchange teacher, "Es gibt zu viel Verkehr an unserer Strasse," which was meant to be "there is too much traffic on our streets."
(, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 22:27, closed)

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