Accidental innuendo
Freddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"
What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
Freddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"
What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
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OSR
OSR for those not in the agricultural community is short for Oil Seed Rape - the yellow flowered crop you see in the fields from about March onwards in the UK. It often causes hayfever when in flower and as the pods set afterwards and the plant begins to die back it can smell of cabbages.
Anyway, enough of all that....
Rape
A couple of years back when I lived on the farm our agronomist (the expert chappie who would tell us what to do with the crops to increase yield and so on) came to visit every few weeks to check on things in the fields.
One week he couldn't make it out to us so rescheduled the visit for the following week.
Coincidentally that was the highlight of the week - it's not all exciting like The Archers you know....
When he eventually visited he told us he had managed to embarrass himself in the local town the previous day.
How? We asked.
"Thought I saw you." He said.
He'd walked up to a man, clapped him on the back and boomed out,
"So, how's the rape going?"
Except it wasn't a farmer he said this to....it was a normal person.
But at least it wasn't as embarrassing as the time he was caught with the sheep in his Travellodge room.
( , Wed 18 Jun 2008, 11:58, 8 replies)
OSR for those not in the agricultural community is short for Oil Seed Rape - the yellow flowered crop you see in the fields from about March onwards in the UK. It often causes hayfever when in flower and as the pods set afterwards and the plant begins to die back it can smell of cabbages.
Anyway, enough of all that....
Rape
A couple of years back when I lived on the farm our agronomist (the expert chappie who would tell us what to do with the crops to increase yield and so on) came to visit every few weeks to check on things in the fields.
One week he couldn't make it out to us so rescheduled the visit for the following week.
Coincidentally that was the highlight of the week - it's not all exciting like The Archers you know....
When he eventually visited he told us he had managed to embarrass himself in the local town the previous day.
How? We asked.
"Thought I saw you." He said.
He'd walked up to a man, clapped him on the back and boomed out,
"So, how's the rape going?"
Except it wasn't a farmer he said this to....it was a normal person.
But at least it wasn't as embarrassing as the time he was caught with the sheep in his Travellodge room.
( , Wed 18 Jun 2008, 11:58, 8 replies)
Was it a female sheep?
Oh aye, he's no queer our agronomist....
/welshhumour
( , Wed 18 Jun 2008, 13:09, closed)
Oh aye, he's no queer our agronomist....
/welshhumour
( , Wed 18 Jun 2008, 13:09, closed)
Of course it was a female sheep!
Just so he can say....wait for it.....
I love ewe!
( , Wed 18 Jun 2008, 13:45, closed)
Just so he can say....wait for it.....
I love ewe!
( , Wed 18 Jun 2008, 13:45, closed)
You know you want to open it...
EDIT: on second thought, this deserves its own post.
( , Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:18, closed)
EDIT: on second thought, this deserves its own post.
( , Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:18, closed)
Have a click
For making a distinction between farmers and normal people.
( , Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:47, closed)
For making a distinction between farmers and normal people.
( , Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:47, closed)
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