*sigh*
Calling me fat is the obvious insult. Except it's not, not really. Fat is just a descriptive word. It's not an insult. Quantifying it with something insulting, now THAT would require effort and a brain.

Fat is such a boring word. It lacks...poetry. You could have called me beefy, big, blimp, bovine, brawny, broad, bulging, bulky, bull, burly, butterball, chunky, corpulent, distended, dumpy, elephantine, fleshy, gargantuan, gross, heavy, heavyset, hefty, husky, inflated, jelly-belly, lard, large, meaty, obese, oversize, paunchy, plump, plumpish, ponderous, porcine, portly, potbellied, pudgy, roly-poly, rotund, solid, stout, swollen, thickset, weighty, whale-like...all of those words pretty much describe me to a tee.

You could have also picked up on my vanity, my tendency to meddle, the fact that I always have to be right, my arrogance, my selfishness, my stubbornness...but you didn't. You took the lazy option - and you thought that describing my body accurately would somehow upset me.

It didn't. I like pies and I enjoy my gin. No fucks are given. What did irritate was your inability to acknowledge me as a person in my own right and use my name. You reduced me to a gender in my own fucking thread. Its pretty plain that you have some issues when it comes to people who own a vagina, and that is why I maintain you are a misogynistic prick with mummy issues.

Or to put it another way....when you post in response to me (as you invariably will, you cannot cope with a woman having the last word), the rest of the internet sees this: -


( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 26 Nov 2012, 22:36, 3 replies)

What sort of pies do you like with your gin?
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 22:53, closed)

Milk No Sugar's All Day Breakfast Pies.
Truly a work of genius.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 26 Nov 2012, 23:19, closed)

Oh.
I was more expecting thus.

Steak Pie ( )
Chicken & Vegetable Pie ( )
All of the Pies. (x)
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:52, closed)

Are you going to tell Mr Badger off just as roundly for referring to you - in a frankly horrifying display of androcentric, possessive patriarchy - only as "MY wife"? And if so, are tickets available?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 23:03, closed)

Nope. Because I am his wife, and he is my husband (and I refer to him as such). If he ever called me 'The wife' in a dismissive tone
I would kick his arse form here to Norfolk.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 26 Nov 2012, 23:18, closed)

Spoilsport.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 23:27, closed)

Calm down, dear. It's only a comedy forum.

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 8:20, closed)