Polite Notice: You (yes, you there) are a complete Cunt-Slug.

And I'm sorry, but flowers wither and die as you drag your horrid, hag-ridden form past them. No offense meant.

Now, I am entirely aware that the following assemblages of words:
Polite notice.
No offense meant.
I'm sorry, but-
do not automatically denote the person using them as a spiteful little pleb. It is entirely within the realms of possibility that someone might choose to use a 'Polite Notice' to draw attention to a problem without wanting to be rude in a very real, genuine sense. It is irrational to instantly dismiss the user as a spineless weasel of a human and a petty, inefficent bully.

But I can't help it, I'm irrational about it. Just seeing a 'Polite Notice' instantly provokes me into a very impolite response indeed; I can only fume in futility at the growing popularity of such sayings.


Furthermore: Keith. What a horrible name.

No, I don't know why - its just a random noise in the air and I don't really know anyone of that name anyway. But still: Keith. Keithkeithkeith. URGH.


Also, I wish Chelsea FC to lose every match in horrible, glaring embarassment. This, despite the fact that I'd struggle to direct a tourist to Chelsea and that football bores me senseless. I can hardly explain why the ball needs to go in the net, let alone the offside rule. Its just that I guy I loathed used to avidly support Chelsea, so I feel a little tight quiver of glee each time I happen to hear they lose something.

Is this irrational? I know no other Chelsea supporters, so whether they are all tossers is something I cannot say...
(IChewCandlewax, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:05, 5 replies)

I always feel that 'Polite Notice' is a weak but heartfelt threat
as the person who's put it up hopes it will be misread as 'Police' Notice.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:09, closed)

When I was typing this...
...I misspelt it as Poultice Notice.

I may go down the cafe here and surruptiously alter all those Polite Notice: Please Use Bins Provided signs.
(IChewCandlewax, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 11:15, closed)

^^This^^ also
I always see it as a passive-aggressive method of warning people off.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 14:28, closed)

^^This^^
I understood that the original idea was to write it in white on a blue background.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 18:03, closed)

Yes.
How dare people be polite. JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, DAMMIT!

CF people who come over at work, and preface the conversation with "How are you?" I like to cut these people dead by instructing them that they are very clearly not concerned about my health, so let's cut the small talk and get down to what it is they want from me.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 15:47, closed)