Cars and idiots
Back when he was studying medicine, my friend Dr Woods used to punt around Colchester and Ipswich in a little brown Mini.

One evening an Escort looms large in his mirror, stereo so loud that Woody can hear the bass tube booming away over the Mini's own sound system. Said Escort was three feet from the Mini's bootlid and the driver was intent on bullying Woody for fun.

Woody doesn't bother with brake testing or direct confrontation. Oh no, his idea was much more subtle.

He slows almost imperceptibly to 0.5mph below the indicated limit. This enrages the knuckle dragger in the Escort who edges close, flashing his lights and waving his fist.

Lining up for his target of a stationary and very expensive black BMW saloon, Woody wrenches the streering wheel hard to the right, in a manner akin to Ayrton Senna taking the chicane at Monaco, threading around the BMW in one swiftly executed manoeuvre. Mr Escort, possessing neither time to swerve or the Mini's natural "flick of a wrist" agility ploughed into the back of the Bee Emm.

Woody indicates and pulls over (he's a medical professional after all). The shellshocked chimpanzee in the stoved in Escort is looking bewildered, but is unfortunately going to live.

But not for much longer it seems, for the front door nearest the wrecked BMW opens and two, large and extremely annoyed gentlemen are seen to exit. Woody decides that he's seen enough so he rolls down his window to give a cheery wave and departs in the general direction of away, as the two large gentlemen extract the dazed simian from the steaming Escort by means of his lapels.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 22 Feb 2008, 16:42, 2 replies)

hah!
I must remember that manoeuvre next time a moron is trying to drive up my exhaust!
( catness, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 17:10, closed)

what shade of brown
was the mini???

*fuckin Friday night click*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 22:39, closed)