Caldmore's a Bitch
I had an ex who started off a shy and sweet boy, seemingly an hopeless romantic. I was smitten due to the amount of attention he gave me, and by how much he wanted to be with me for the rest of my life.

So, 18 months later I realise what a nasty, controlling piece of work he was. Sulked like a child if he didn't get his own way. Forced me to wank him off if I didn't want sex. Told me to shut up if I was sobbing at night in bed. Many examples, too many to go into here. I managed to spend a couple of days without seeing him, which gave me a clarity into the situation, and I jumped ship to another lad.

For some reason, I made an effort to stay friends with him. He went pretty insane after I dumped him, and I guess I felt kinda guilty. He bombarded me with calls and stalked me, but I still felt guilty when I saw how messed up he was.

Somehow I ended up going into town with him, whilst leaving my car at his house. On the way back on the motorway (it was only one junction and the fastest way to get to town and back), he starts getting nasty and shouty about us not being together. I become genuinely frightened of this sort of behaviour whilst travelling at this speed and clam up in the hope that he might calm down. He doesn't, and we arrive on his incredibly long driveway (11 acre garden!) and I run for my car.

It's sunset now and starting to get dark. I try to drive off, but he stops me shutting my door. Everytime I go to drive, he clings in to the open door and travels with me. He's still shouting and arguing, and I try to reason with him. I keep trying to drive off and he physically won't let go of car. I end up stopping the car and trying to talk, but it's not helping. I tried sitting there just staring at the dashboard while he rants and raves, trying not to give him any reason to keep going. Looking at my clock, I see that this stand-off has been going on for about an hour. I try to drive off again, but he turns off my ignition and throws my keys into his garden, which is now pitch black.

At this point I was considering running back to the house and getting his parents, but he probably would have tackled me. Then I thought to ring some friends of mine who he really liked and respected. They managed to convince him that this is a bit insane and he should let me go, which he finally does.

So where's the karma? Well...

Shortly after this, he goes for a cruise in his local red light district to let off some steam. He finds a lady of the night and asks her to join him. She jumps into his car and off they go to find a quiet spot. Then he gets cold feet, and tells Miss Ho that he's got a girlfriend and can't go through with it. She says "well how about a blow job then, that's not really cheating" (lols!). He says no, he really can't do it. Ok, says she, you can't drop me here as it's too suss, drop me a few streets away. He tries to, but she's not happy with that spot and makes him drive round again. Now she refuses to get out at all. She will not leave his car until some transaction takes place, and ends up holding him hostage in his car until, I think, he did actually pay to get rid of her. Ha!

The even funnier thing was, the name of the red light district is Caldmore. Pronounced locally as, I shit you not... Karma!
(Cryptoprocta has abandoned the username of Voodoo Mary, Sat 23 Feb 2008, 21:57, Reply)