You seem to be operating under the assumption that he's a teacher, rather than a lifeguard. When I was a lifeguard, I was never given to understand that I was acting in loco parentis; I was merely there to stop the little fuckers from sinking. Admittedly, this did not lead to me pissing on any obnoxious teens - and indeed, if it had, I like to think I'd have done so with a little more panache. Preferably from a diving board.

I digress. If we're drawing distinction between 'pissing on', implying a direct jet, and 'pissing near', with the payloaad carried by the surrounding water - I'm going to go with the former being technically impossible. Presuming he didn't flop out his tackle, the stream would first have had to contend first with a cold-shrivelled weener, possibly bent into a non-optimal weeing configuration, then the material of whatever form of swimming-short he was sporting (which are frequently dual-layered, featuring integrated pants), and lastly, the drag of the surrounding water. Now, I'm no expert on flow dynamics, but I'm guessing that by this point, 'pissing on' has become more or less impossible, the jet having turned into a gently-expanding cloud. I would hazard that 'pissing on' doesn't extend past the inner pant layer. So unless the kid was indulging in Neroesque aquatic dong-nilbbling, which has not thus far been mentioned, the only likely outcome is 'pissing near'.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 18:50, 1 reply)

Yes, basically I wet myself in a lake
and I wanted to be controversial and shocking.

I must say I'm amazed at the amount of time and thought put into some of these replies - clearly B3tans don't do much work. Or, I'm going to receive a large legal bill for all the advice on here.
(jimmy spankhands, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 21:18, closed)

Either way, he's guilty of the attempt.

( WormuIus, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 23:19, closed)