Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
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chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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Gambling; With my future...I had realistic sniffles, a realistic cough and sounded ill. My boss was sympathetic and said "DP, just have today off, and tomorrow. Get well. Give me a call tomorrow and let me know how you are."
I got off the phone, removed the cotton wool from my nose and cracked open a can, with my friend. We got into the car and set off for a heady day and night of drinking and gambling.
We had a great time, dressed in our finest suits and hats, throwing money around as if we could afford it, and drinking until we were stumbling around like things demented, before falling asleep in the field surrounded by discarded bottles of beer and champagne.
We got home, in a cab, and I was looking forward to having my second sick day to recover. However at 8 the next morning my phone rang. It was my MD. He knew something I didn't. He enquired as to my health, and gave me enough rope to comprehensively hang myself with.
What he knew, and I didn't, was that the local tv station had zoomed in on two unconscious revellers and uttered the words "Here are a couple of people who've had a good day!"
Sadly, tv evidence is very hard to refute.
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disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 28 Jun 2007, 11:41,
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