Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
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chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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I had been warned not to be late for work againso the next morning to prove a point, I left the house an hour early.
The traffic on the dual carriageway was crawling along, I couldn’t understand it as it was never congested, especially at 7am, but I didn’t worry as I had 2 hours to get to work...
...An hour and a half later and I was shitting myself, I had only moved a few miles and the clock was ticking. I phoned work on my mobile, it rings and rings and rings...finally it's picked up and it's only the bloody director! I start to explain who I am and the predicament I’m in when I see what has been holding up traffic...
...A man was pushing his car up the dual carriageway, not to the side of the road but UP the sodding carriageway. My blood literally boiled, I was seething with rage at this moron who was about to cost me my job, so I wound down the window and screamed YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT!!! as I drove past...
...At which point I realised that I still had my mobile firmly pressed to my ear and that I had just informed the company director that I was going to be late for work because he was a stupid fucking cunt.
(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 12:24,
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